Homage to soft drinks
August 21, 2005 – 9:15 AMI don't know what made me start thinking about this, but this morning I began dwelling on soft drinks (cokes, colas, sodas, pops, insert-your-regionalism-here) of my youth which I haven't seen on the shelves in a long time.
Big Red was the first soft drink that came to mind. This one was plentiful at my cousins' house when I was growing up. We bought it at home occasionally, but we really were not big soft drink consumers at my house. A cursory Google search reveals that this native Texas soda is idolized and worshipped by many for its sweetness — a sweetness I clearly recall as intolerably sticky and just way too … too … red. It was like drinking a carbonated, liquid red sucker from the bank.
A regular Coke or Dr. Pepper has no nutritional value, true. But tasting Big Red was like tasting the most nutritionally void substance possible. It made Coca-Cola seem downright fortifying. Big Red should probably come with a medical sticker affixed: “WARNING: May cause instantaneous diabetes.”
I never see Big Red here in New York. I don't think I saw it anytime in the past 15+ years back in Kentucky. I don't miss it, but I did wonder briefly if I'd falsely manufactured memories of this noxious bright red soda. Apparently not.
RC Cola. Still common enough in the South. Nobody up here knows what the hell it is. It's basically the Ross Perot of the brown colas.
Tab: Did anybody actually buy/drink this? I don't even feel motivated to Google it.
Ale 8 1. This was pretty good stuff. I've never seen it outside of KY, and I've never really expected to. I'd like to drink it again though. If they made a diet version, which I can't imagine they do.
Yoo Hoo. I drank this, but there always seemed to be something terribly … just … wrong about it.
Cheerwine. I remember this stuff, but no recollection whatsoever as to what it tasted like.
Fresca: PURE ACID. I'm pretty sure you could get the same effect by just carbonating pure lime juice and liquefying your insides. Guh!
That's all for now. More later.
Current favorite soft drink: Diet Lime Coke ™.