Keith's Atomic Onion
February 25, 2006 – 2:01 PMLast night Keith and I were standing out in front of my apartment building having a smoke. The front of my building has this little courtyard closed in by stone balusters. As we stood in the semi-dark, I noticed a small, greenish-white round object behind Keith's feet, partially hidden under the vegetation in the courtyard.
“What is that?” I asked him, pointing with the toe of my boot.
“What's what?”
“That.” He looked where I was pointing, and as we both peered at it, bewildered, I thought to myself: that kinda looks like an onion.
“It sorta looks like an onion,” Keith said.
“That's ridiculous. Move it and see what it is,” I told him.
Keith gingerly reached out with his foot and nudged the onionesque ball. Just as he did so, a loud trio of beeps cut through the air and echoed off the walls of the building.
A BOMB!
Keith recoiled in alarm from what rolled over and revealed itself to be — an onion.
I nearly wet myself.
We both turned to see that the beeps had emitted from a parked car on the corner as a woman disarmed her car alarm to enter her vehicle.
Keith proceeded to kick the onion disgustedly for pretending to be a bomb and scaring the piss out of both of us. Conversation ensued about how if this had been a dream, and we'd tried to describe the details of the dream to others, we'd get really weird looks.