Let the paper-writing marathon BEGIN
December 20, 2005 – 6:32 PMOK. It's 6:30pm, I am brewing a fresh pot of espresso roast coffee, I am surrounded by volumes of Henry James and Mark Twain and John Steinbeck, and I am determined to write this fifteen page paper before midnight.
Oh yeah, and I'm EXTREMELY BITCHY RIGHT NOW. This would not be a good time to bring up the fact that nobody, but NOBODY has located or procured a “Welcome To The Jungle” doormat for me. YOU BASTARDS. It would also not be a good time to bring up the fact that I mashed my fingers in TWO SEPARATE DOORS today, nearly got wiped off the planet by a drunk city bus driver making an illegal turn, who in turn knocked my fucking coke out of my drink holder and made it spill into my passenger side floor. Oh, and let's not even discuss the UPS/USPS mail debacle I encountered going onsite at my apartment. Yeah. We should also not discuss USA gold premium platinum customers. I don't care if they have a goddamn shooting star for an asshole. NO SOONER SERVICE AVAILABLE. GO TWIRL ON IT.
Yeah. better just leave me alone for the next six hours. Love ya'll.