August 8, 2005 – 8:40 PM
- “Look. You're creeping her out, you're pissing me off, and Tony's Italian and he's got a bag of cement in the trunk of his car with your name on it.” –Jenn
- I once accidentally stabbed myself in the back with a screwdriver in a tragic early morning accident before work but after leaving the house.
- I also spoke to Colin Powell.
- I consumed three deep-fried oreos this past weekend.
- I walked 10 miles the same weekend so it's OK.
- Miraculously I still weigh in the 120s.
- My hair spirals weird like Robert Plant's when I don't blow it dry.
- “When did you get curly hair?” — Keith
- My skin is SO gonna come off in chunks when it starts healing.
- My mom's addicted to Zabasearch and it's freaking me out, man.
- Keith Handy is having this weird asexual love affair with Radio Shack.
- I shop for men at Wegmans so I really have no place to judge him here.
- Nothing is sexier than John McBain threatening somebody. YEAH BABY.