Weeeeeeee.
August 10, 2005 – 8:51 PMHappy pills kicking in.
I walked into the womens' room at work today to hear somebody's cell phone going off loudly in a stall. I exclaimed, “These toilets come with awesome ringtones now!” And went to take my pee. There was a disgruntled silence from the other stall. Some people have no sense of humor.
Cell phones in the loo are a phenomenon at work. Every time I'm taking a whiz, invariably the person in the stall next to me is carrying on a detailed conversation through the obvious sounds of tinkling and flushing. Now, I can almost understand if they were calling immediate family with an emergency. I have been known to go pee while talking to my mother on the phone, in the privacy of my own home. I figure if she changed my diaper, the sound of water tinkling in the background shouldn't gross her out overly much.
But I'm talking about detailed conversations with mechanics, doctor's offices, daycare centers, etc. It's not that I eavesdrop but when somebody is in the stall next to you loudly enquiring about the cost of brake pad replacement it's pretty easy to deduce who they're talking to.
I want to imagine that these people, my coworkers, are busy people desperately trying to squeeze in these phone errands any chance they can get, and that includes the time period between unzipping your jeans and flushing the toilet. But no. These conversations go on leisurely, loudly, and carefree while they piss loudly, flush, and wash their hands. What the hell do the people on the other end of the phone think of all the flushing in the background?
I don't know the answer to that, so instead I made a list of things that would make toilets 100x more enjoyable:
- Sealy toilet seats
- wireless DSL/cable routers
- polyphonic ringtones (some at work have these anyway)
- paisley patterned bowls
- free 1040EZ tax preparation while you wait
OK. Enough toilet humor. I go pass out now.